I WAS LISTENING TO THIS WHEN I SAW THIS. WHAT. THE. HECK. DFJHDIUFHDKHFSKJFSDFDKJHT

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I have a bad habit of making myself emotionless when I’m hurt by someone I care about. It works for a little while, but never lasts in the long run. I can’t help it: I care. I just don’t always show it in the best way. It’s my walls coming up. I hate the feeling more than anything.

I’m a firm believer that things happen for a reason and that there’s a purpose for everything, but then sometimes I wonder: was I that easy to just not care about?

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I’m really looking forward to moving out when the time comes. I’m glad I didn’t last month. I’d rather live at home and have a strong relationship with my parents than move out and not. Not saying that people who move out don’t have that, but I feel like being at home this past time around has helped me with that and made me appreciate what I have. I pray that when I do leave and live with a friend it’s someone that is compatible with myself. I miss that. But I feel good about the things coming up in my life. I really feel like my parents did a good job with me. I’m trying rally hard to keep my priorities lined up and do well with things.

Sometimes I get sad thinking about how some things used to be. I’m pretty happy with my life right now, and I really enjoy work, and things with Scott and my family are really good, but I miss a lot of my close close friends. I wish I saw my bffl more. Even Kelly and Erin. I know most of us are at a point where school, work, or both take us more of our time, and that new opportunities continue to arise, which is great, but lately I find myself feeling nostalgic. I feel like I’ve almost completely lost another close friend, but it’s her call, not mine. That much I don’t understand. I know I don’t see my close friends as much as I’d like, but when I do, it’s almost as if no time passes. It’s just the missing them part. I suppose I’ve gotten to a point where I can’t understand where this friend is at, and although I’m not writing off the friendship, I just don’t think it can be the same. And honestly, I’m kind of doing a reevaluation of how things really were. It saddens me. I’ve lost friends in worse ways. Still life goes on. I guess I just needed to vent a little bit where nobody I really care about reading this actually will. Tomorrow I’m gone for the weekend. It’s much needed.

x

I get to start training back office tonight..

I’m pretty stoaked. :)

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